2011 September PawPawty Sekurity Report

by JB Hippo on October 17, 2011 · 1 comment

in reports

24 & 25 September was the weekend of the Paws Around the World themed PawPawty. Donations benefited Holly Hedge Animal Sanctuary which is near Bristol in the UK. £840.50 was raised – 129% of the goal set! Woo hoo!

SEKURITY TEAM ROLL CALL

Captain Brutus
@brutusthedane
Captain Brutus
Detective Duchess
@duchesscrabtree
Detective Duchess
Officer Cheshire
@cheshirek
Officer Cheshire
Officers Aedan & Winston
@pushupsnpaws
Officer Aedan & Winston
Officer Daisy
@iamdaisydoo
Officer Daisy
Officer Benji
@benjito95
Officer Benji
Officer Mickey
@Mickeyshorttail
Officer Mickey
Officer Ody
@OdyMaltese
Officer Ody
Officer Abbey
@abbeyrescuedox
Officer Abbey

(Sekurity uniforms were lost by the airline!)

OFFICIAL SEKURITY REPORT
(all times in EDT)

2:00 PM Officer Abbey starts the first Sekurity shift and the pawpawty kicks off!
3:15 PM Guests are asked to refrain from “bee sniffing”, which sounds quite dangerous!
3:55 PM Officer Abbey is in twitter jail! Eek!
4:00 PM Officer Ody reports for his shift.
HANDOFF REPORT “Everything has been quiet!”
4:01 PM Officer Ody is in on duty, Officer Abbey, in twitter jail, can now relax and play a harmonica until she is released. 🙂
5:32 PM Guests hear a giant “CRASH!!!” Officer Ody’s jetpack ran out of fuel and he took a bit of a tumble. @MrKiplingwoof and @aylalab rush to help.
5:34 PM Officer Cheshire assists Officer Ody by wrapping his sore behind in a purple bandage.
5:36 PM Guests are trying not to snicker at the sight of poor Officer Ody’s purple bum.
5:54 PM Officer Daisy checks in for her Sekurity rounds.
HANDOFF REPORT “Quiet right now. Nothing important to report.” (crashed jetpack is surreptitiously kicked out of sight)
5:59 PM Officer Ody signs out and Officer Daisy is in charge.
6:09PM A post-shift post-crash investigation has determined that Officer Ody crashed because the jetpack was carrying more weight than it was used to. *ahem* Fuel was used up at a faster rate than normal.
7:35 PM Sekurity Announcement: NO hoochiekootch is allowed at pawpawty – Hokey Pokey is ok, though.
7:36 PM @SnoopDoggDoxie is warned about squeezing Sekurity Officers’ mellons.
7:56 PM Officers Aedan and Winston arrive for their shift.
HANDOFF REPORT “@SnoopDoggDoxie was given a warning for squeezing Sekurity Officer’s melons. @thisbear is in protective custody behind bar because owner was forcing him to dance ‘hoochitkootch’. @thisbear was told he’d have to dance the Hokey Pokey but we’d save him from hoochiekootch. Other than that, it’s been quiet. Signing off duty.”
8:03 PM Officer Daisy clocks out and Officers Aedan and Winston are on duty.
HANDOFF REPORT “mostly quiet shift – took @mattiedog into custody for cruising into the Stewardess Cabin. we trumped up some charges of ‘distracting’ as we zoomed around the world.”
11:45 PM Detective Duchess clocks in early and doesn’t see any Sekurity Officer to relieve.
1:58 AM Officer Benji arrives for his shift.
HANDOFF REPORT “Efurryone been Great & Hafin fun! Detective Duchess signing off duty – Handin to Officer Benji.”
3:59 AM Det. Duchess is back for a second Sekurity shift.
HANDOFF REPORT “officer welcome back. My shift was very quiet no problems everyone behaved properly.”
5:30 AM @PepiSmartDog reports there was almost a Sekurity issue – Suki threw up all over his mom’s desk!! Sekurity reminds Suki that she must behave there is important work going on here!
5:35 AM Suki is advised NOT to throw up in her mom’s suitcase while she’s at it…. Too late!!
5:58 AM Officer Mickey signs in for his Sekurity shift.
HANDOFF REPORT @PepiSmartDog reported Suki puked all over Mom’s desk & in her suitcase. And @PepiSmartDog requested sekurity warn Suki & ask her to behave BEFORE she pukes on mum’s suitcase. Other den dat all Anipals behafin & hafin fun!”
6:01 AM Officer Mickey is now on Sekurity detail, making notes about the pre-emptive barf strategy. Det. Duchess heads to the locker room to unwind.
6:17 AM #sekuritytroublemaker @indykitty has poured salad oil all over the bar.
8:30 AM Officer Mickey is working a double shift and requests a shot of coffee and Red Bull.
9:55 AM Captain Brutus signs in for the next shift.
HANDOFF REPORT ‘A quiet shift. A good bit of mansequin flinging and bar dancing from @PepiSmartDog . Shock. @indykitty put salad oil on the bar. Applied neutralizer and issued warning. @PepiSmartDog then added salad greens to sop up remaining oil on the bar. Did have to do an emergency paw block to keep @Dogstoyevsky from sliding out the window. @kingtuttifruiti slipped Red Bull in my coffee IV. I expect to sleep again around Wednesday. Went into overtime duty at 8 a.m. EDT. Worked double shift.
9:58 AM Cap. Brutus is in charge and Officer Mickey signs off. Great job, Officer Mickey!
10:56 AM It comes to light that Officer Annie was unable to clock in for her Sekurity shifts due to rescue work she was doing on behalf of some adorable doxies! Cap. Brutus and the rest of the Sekurity Team appreciate her efforts to help those pups!
11:53 AM @pandafur reports an annoying spammer to block: sindeegeorgea.
12:00 PM Officer Cheshire scampers out of the locker room for his shift, smelling of fake bacon!
HANDOFF REPORT Okay, everyone was extremely well-behaved this morning. Nothing to report. Handoff complete!
12:02 PM Officer Cheshire is in charge and Captain Brutus clocks out.
12:07 PM Durning the shift change, Officer Cheshire and Captain Brutus discuss the six ton satellite that fell from the sky overnight, much like Officer Ody falling from the sky with his jetpack. [giggle!]
HANDOFF REPORT “Everyone was good except my sisfur @NutmegTorby who drank too much, rolled on the bar and fell off. @Georgetheduck cleaned up and wasn’t mad, then I held Nutmeggy’s paw and we patrolled. Unfortunatly, I had a little glitch with Tweetdeck & Nutmeg was in charge for a few seconds. I found myself & all was well.”
2:00 PM Another successful and fun pawpawty draws to a close!

{ 1 comment }

Pandafur October 17, 2011 at 11:51 am

Yay another grate sekuritee report fur a grate pawpawty! Thanks you for keeping us safe offisirz!

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