2009 july pawpawty sekurity report

by snickers on July 12, 2009 · 4 comments

in reports

[begin report]

sekurity officers for july pawpawty were: sekurity captain snickers (@Snick_the_Dog), sergeant shawnee shep (@ShawneeShep), officer samson (@SamsonCatt), officer kenworth (@GD_Kenworth, officer morris cat (@morriscat), officer annie the bloodhound (@BloodhoundNdots), officer dingo (@DingoDaDog), underkover sekrit informant fergus (@Fergusthedog), and ninja strike force leader mizCleo (@mizCleo).

PAWPAWTY SECURITY REPORT
pawty started right on time (@frugaldougal is so punkshual!) (some evidence)
captain snickers on duty
@smokeythedog took a tumble in the water but he reports he iz fine. some evidence
captain snickers reports pawty going well. no trouble (yet). some evidence
:captain snickers distracted by real world postman with box of peanut butter cookies! some evidence
HANDOFF REPORT: keep an eye on @hellahedgie he is hiding a flask and he’s determined to spike sekurity water bowl some evidence
HANDOFF REPORT: watch out for suspekt @VampireKat. still haz warrant for his arrest from last month some evidence
officer dingo now on duty
officer dingo confiscated @hellahedgie’s flask. no charges were pressed but flask will not be returned till after the pawty
officer dingo rushed to aid of @borriskitty and @grandmastormy. snarling and barking did chase off scary monster. some evidence
@BuckleyKitty not feeling right. officer dingo helped BuckleyKitty to hammock in cabana for nappies.
sergeant shawnee shep now on duty
Made announcement that nobody should use beach sand as litter box (as requested by @Dunkin_the_cat)
Broke up cat fight reported and witnessed by @dunkin_the_cat. Contrary to popular belief, @dunkin_the_cat was not involved as he provided fotografik prufe. some evidence
@Kellogghughes was being followed by nekkid laydees – advised on proper blocking procedure some evidence
Elefant what made @ConfuciusCat wipe out on surf board identified but @ConfuciusCat later admitted elefant was nice and did not cause mishap, too much niptini did and he promptly signed up at Nipaholics Anonymous and went straight to meeting.
@GodzillaofJapan threatened to eat some anipals so I showed him wanted poster of @VampireKat and gaved him permissions to nom on him. @GodzillaofJapan said if he could find him, he will nom him.
@ImaJackRussell asked for help getting home because he dranked to much – called a ride for him and he departed safely for home.
Warned @frugaldougal and @SylvieDog no fightings when they wanted to see fight with @SylvieDog and @godzillaofjapan over cookies – @frugaldougal said just kidding
Summonsed @zackrabbit for being a noggty wabbit and mooning the anipals at the #pawpawty. Later reduced to warning when @zackrabbit put his swimming trunks back on and pwomised to behave. some evidence
Rescued @GrandmaStormy when a monster was stuck on her tail and she screamed for help. Turned out to be a lobster. Lobster identified and removed without incident. Mugshot in @ShawneeShep’s twitpic file.
Put @mugsydog in slammer to sleep it off when he passed out from drinking barktinis. Minutes later @Sylviedog was also found passed out and put in slammer with @mugsydog to sleep it off. some evidence
Assisted @theodorag with locating invisibul/missing/stolen avatar.
@mizCleo, ninja strike force leader, reported for duties
ninja strike force leader cleo now on duty
there was some confusion about stolen property but @Crazykittykat1 had just lost their drink. http://twitter.com/Crazykittykat1/status/2592873384
ninja strike force leader mizCleo threw out two anonymous pawtygoers for indecent behavior some evidence
officer annie issued following ALERT: Folks PLEASE DO NOT EAT the flowers or other landscaping. some evidence
captain snickers now on duty
SEKURITY BULLETIN: @Snick_the_Dog back on duty.
SpoiledMinPin had too much to drink and passed out. captain snickers keeping watchful eye on him to keep him safe. some evidence
investigashun opened into matter of SylvieDog’s missing bikini. prime suspekt ZackRabbit. some evidence
SEKURITY ALERT: @ZackRabbit has been notified to turn self in for stealing of @sylviedog’s bikini
ONGOING INVESTIGASHUN: ize looking into who spike @SylvieDog’s barkarita earlier in the evening. tipline is open (DM)
hellahedgie questioned in matter of sylviedog’s biknin. some evidence
henry’s nip brownies were too much for him and he passed out. some evidence
HANDOFF REPORT: please keep eye on @Quadpaw and @SpoiledMinPin. they both passed out. if you can move henry over will be easier.
SEKURITY BULLETIN: officer @morriscat now in charge of #pawpawty sekurity. i iz signing off to do paperwerk
officer morris now on duty
SEKURITY UPDATE: @sylviedog’s bikini thief not @zackrabbit. search for drink spiker and bikini stealer continues. some evidence
SECURITY ALERT: There has been a complaint made that the saucers of milk have been spiked. Anyone with info on this, please contact officer morris
SECURITY ALERT: Anipals, please block user @llltest who is spamming us
officer morris and captain snickers both reported spammer to twitter.
HANDOFF REPORT: Just gotten my first spammer! Been fairly quiet apart from a naughty photo posted and some milk-spiking
officer kenworth now on duty
17:35 AEST security report: Investigating worriesome behaviour of @pasta_the_cat, @TuffyCat and Theo. Drink spiking suspected.
Security report: the following anipals are being monitored for signs of illness from drink-spiking: @SmokeytheDawg, @TuffyCat @pasta_the_cat, @MizzBassie
officer samson mercury cat arrived early for duty. two duty officers on shift
@Apolla_Frenchie injured in surfing wipeout. officer SamsonCatt rushed to aid with first aid kit from red wagon some evidence
18:26 Security report: everything becoming calm. Most suspects heading to bed… Suspicious, yes. Worrying, no
officer kenworth communication to captain snickers: reporting computer troubles, losing communications… attempting repairs…
officer kenworth’s communications restored!
officer samson officially reported for duty. officer kenworth signed off.
stay tuned. nine more hours till #pawpawty ends

RECRUITING
pawpawty sekurity force is recruiting officers for july pawpawty and beyond. must be willing to commit to at least two hours of peace keeping and reporting during pawpawty. job description is as follows:

  • greet new pawty goers and make sure they know link to pay optional cover charge (donation)
  • be sure no one puts the bitey on anyone else
  • keep pawty from getting so rowdy that neighbors complain
  • take reports of misdeeds. make arrests only if necessary to protect safey of anipals
  • some anipals drink too much, so help make sure no one falls down goes boom
  • put on snarly face to chase off spammers if needed
  • haz good time!

any anipal interested in volunteering for sekurity force should contact Captain Snickers or Sergeant Shawnee. (sorry humans, only anipals can join sekurity force)

[end report]

to learn more about pawpawty visit frugaldougal’s blog

{ 3 comments }

flicka47 July 14, 2009 at 9:48 pm

Once again you guys did a great job and are to be commended for keeping everybody safe!Looking forward to your next tour of duty!

Pandafur July 19, 2009 at 9:28 am

Excellent sekurity report. You all did a grate job an I feel so safe knowing we has excellent sekurity. meow!
.-= Pandafur´s last blog .. =-.

ladycat3 July 22, 2009 at 11:20 am

You all did an outstanding job of security and writing the report. It’s nice to know we’re so well protected. purrs

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